Help Me With
Questions around sexual issues are sensitive, nuanced and at times, very difficult to answer. Below, we address some of the questions with which many Christian leaders are struggling. While some content is available here, all of it can be accessed with a Sexual Discipleship membership.
Porn/Sexual Addiction
Interviews with Experts: How Does the Christian Community Begin To Address Porn?
It would be difficult to overstate the impact of pornography on men, women, teens, and marriages. How do you as a Christian leader begin to address it and point people toward freedom? Juli interviews Nick Stumbo, the executive director of Pure Desire, about how church communities can open up healing conversations about pornography for men, women, and children.
Interviews with Experts: Healing From Sexual Addiction
Interviews with Experts: How Do I Create Spaces for Leaders Who Are Struggling?
Interviews with Experts: How Do I Get to the Heart of Unwanted Sexual Behavior?
Interviews with Experts: What Does "Grace Based Recovery" Look Like?
3 Things Women Want You To Know About Their Addiction to Pornography
The secular world is speaking out and telling women that watching porn is okay. Yet, the church often remains silent (or only addresses the issue with men). If the church will not talk to women who struggle with porn or create safe spaces for women to talk about it, then one of two things will happen: 1) Women will continue to think that watching porn is okay or 2) Women will think that something must be incredibly wrong with them because no one is talking about it. Continue reading...
Interviews with Experts: Five Things Every Leader Needs To Know About Porn
Why the Church Needs to Address Porn for Women
Pornography impacts men and women, yet when was the last time you heard a sermon on porn in your church? When was the last time you heard it specifically address women?
Most female porn addicts feel alone and often feel left out of the conversation. Instead of finding freedom, women live alone in shame and bondage. They begin to think that something must be wrong with them since, “Porn is a man’s issue.”
Interviews with Experts: Why We Must Remember That Women Struggle With Porn Too
Historically, pornography has been viewed as “every man’s battle.” Because of this, women who struggle with porn often experience additional shame and lack the resources to find freedom. In this video, Dr. Joy Skarka shares from her own experience as well as what she has learned from helping women find freedom from pornography and sexual addiction.
Sexual Abuse/Trauma Recovery
Interviews with Experts: Understanding Complex Trauma
Some trauma is so deep that it can’t be addressed with simply listening and compassion. In this video, Dr. Heather Gingrich, an expert on complex trauma, gives guidance on what symptoms might indicate complex trauma and how to help on the healing journey.
Interviews with Experts: Overcoming Shame
For many people, sex represents shame - the shame of current struggles, past mistakes, sexual trauma, and unwanted desire. In this video, Dr. Joy Skarka shares from her own experience and doctoral dissertation about the power of sexual shame and how Christian leaders can help others find freedom.
Healing After #metoo
As you watch a flood of #MeToo tags come through your social media feed, what is your reaction? Maybe you feel sick to your stomach, need some time to let the grief wash over you, or experience a rush of anger. Me too. How does something that is so hidden and pervasive finally come to light after decades of colluding in silence? I celebrate that women (and men) who have been told to be quiet can finally speak their pain out loud. Continue reading...
Interviews with Experts: Confronting Abuse in the Church
No one wants to admit that it exists, but the headlines over the past ten years are undeniable. Sexual abuse happens within the Christian community. In this video, Boz Tchividjian gives practical advice on what to do when abuse allegations surface and how to safeguard your ministry from such an occurrence.
Interviews with Experts: Why Christian Leaders Must Understand Sexual Trauma
Research indicates that 25% of women and 15% of men have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Most experts believe these numbers are an underestimate. Regardless, past sexual trauma is a reality for many of those to whom you minister. In this video, Tim Hein shares from his own experience as a sexual abuse victim, giving Christian leaders guidance on how to sensitively minister to those with a history of sexual trauma.
Conversations That Heal
This is a collection of Java with Juli episodes that can help guide a Christian leader in addressing sexual pain.
As Christians, we often spend a lot of time debating what we should believe about sexuality. We may devote some time to ensuring we are personally honoring God with our own sexual choices. However, we often spend little to no time wrestling through how to represent the heart of Jesus as we interact with people with whom there is disagreement or tension. I believe it is imperative, both within the Christian church and outside her walls, to be able to engage in tough conversations about sexual pain and brokenness. ~ Juli Slattery
Marriage and Sexuality
Interviews with Experts: How Do I Help Couples Move Beyond the Purity Narrative to Sexual Intimacy?
A generation of Christians grew up with little sexual advice beyond “Save it for marriage.” As a result, many couples don’t know how to engage sexually and enjoy the gift of sex within marriage. In this video, Dr. Doug Rosenau equips Christian leaders with the tools and vocabulary to help couples experience the fullness of God’s design for sexual intimacy within marriage.
Interviews with Experts: Sexual Discipleship® and Marriage
Sex in marriage can be more complicated than most of us anticipated. Challenges with desire, pleasure, pornography, and shame are all common. In this video, learn from a panel of experts to guide couples in navigating some of the common challenges to sexual intimacy in marriage.
Why I Went to a Marriage Intensive
Perhaps like you, I’ve been discouraged and saddened by the many examples of Christian leaders falling away from faith and leading double lives. It’s natural to assume that what happened to them could never happen to me. That’s simply naive. Mike and I have taken the warning seriously.
In this blog, I want to candidly share with you why Mike and I took this step of going for intensive counseling. No, we are not currently in a marriage crisis. But we also recognize that pride (even of a good marriage or sound mental health) often goes before a fall. Continue reading...
Interviews with Experts: How Do I Recognize an Abusive Marriage?
Most domestic abuse victims don’t recognize their relationships as abusive, and many abusive spouses are charismatic in their presentation. This means that you are unlikely to recognize marital abuse in the couples you counsel. In this video, psychologist and abuse victim, Dr. Romana Pabasco, explains how to identify abuse in marriage and how you can help.
LGBT
Interviews with Experts: Should We Use LGBTQ Inclusive Language?
Navigating ministry to LGBTQ individuals is both complicated and sensitive. Christian leaders need to know more than what the Bible says, but also to be equipped in interpersonal relationships. In this video, Matt and Laurie Krieg give practical advice on how to be biblically grounded and compassionate in your approach in ministry relationships.
When Christians Disagree About Sex
When the Nashville statement was released, it brought conservative Christianity’s relationship with sexual issues front and center into the mainstream media. USA Today described the Nashville statement this way, “A coalition of conservative evangelical leaders laid out their beliefs on human sexuality, including opposition to same-sex marriage and fluid gender identity, in a new doctrinal statement.” Continue reading...
Reader's Corner: "Single, Gay, Christian" by Gregory Coles
Read Juli's review of Gregory Coles' book Single, Gay, Christian. In it, he processes his early experiences with attraction to men, his wrestling with God to make him straight, his examination of the Bible to make sense of his experience, and his choice to sit in the tension of longings that God hasn’t taken away. Continue reading...
Interviews with Experts: Can You Help Me Understand the “T” in LGBT?
The transgender movement has caught most of us by surprise. We don’t feel equipped to navigate the world of non-binary, gender questioning, and preferred pronouns. In this video, Dr. Preston Sprinkle shares some foundational truths in understanding and ministering in light of current developments related to gender identity.